I can't quite explain

The Transition

So... I joined this online dating website. It's a Christian website, and it's free, because I have not yet reached the point in my life where I feel like I need to pay to find someone. I joined it to see what's out there, and to kind of remind myself that I'm not alone.

Anyway.

I emailed back and forth with a few guys; one though really seems to get me. His name is Adam, and I think we get along really well, and we would like to meet. The only thing is, he lives in Wisconsin. Meeting someone who lives down the street from you is easy; meeting someone who is going to have to cross 2/3 of the United States to meet you is a little trickier. I am trying to figure out how to meet him in a public place and everything, I am going to be safe and smart, don't worry. But yeah. And he's never been to California. He is planning on driving out here sometime in January, so I still have some time to plan and everything, but if you have any recommendations, I welcome them.

Some things I appreciate about him that I felt I would have missed out on had I settled with one of my previous boyfriends:
1. He wants lots of kids.
2. He wants his wife to stay home to raise said kids
3. He's a Christian!!
4. He is responsible and self-motivated and feels it is his job as the man to be a provider
5. He thinks that the person you are in a relationship with should be a priority, and that that is part of being in a relationship (sounds kind of obvious, but past boyfriends haven't seemed to realize that your girlfriend is a priority)

I decided to leave it at five for now but just know that I have a really good feeling about this. I'm not sure how the whole California-Wisconsin thing will work out, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I'm very excited about meeting him

what I don't like about homosexuality

Ok, given that I think homosexuality is wrong in and of itself (mala in se) because there are Scriptures that say so, here is what I think is wrong about homosexuality in our culture/community: I don't think it is right for gay people to bring innocent people into their situation unnecessarily. What I mean by that is, if you are gay, just be gay. Don't hide it, or deny it, because lots of the time, we know anyway, to be honest. If you are gay, do not marry someone, have a couple kids, and THEN decide to go live your gay lifestyle. Why bring those innocent people into the situation? If you had just been gay all along (which, to the best of my knowledge, gay people are still saying they are born that way, correct?), JUST BE GAY!!!! Or if, for one reason or another (religion or something else) you do decide to get married, that was your decision, as an adult. At that point, even if you do "realize", "admit" or whatever that you are gay, BE AN ADULT! Live with the decision you have made, especially if you have children because of YOUR decision to live as a heterosexual. This can apply even to actually heterosexual people as well - face up to the responsibility of decisions you have made as an adult that affect others around you that had no possible way of influencing your decision. You know what, even if they did influence your decision, it was your decision!

Now, while I have believed this theory of personal responsibility for quite some time, you may be asking yourself "But why bring this up now? Is it because of Prop 8?" This has absolutely nothing to do with Prop 8. This explanation of my feelings toward this issue is because my step-sister-in-law has decided (admitted, fill in the blank) that she is gay, and now wants to get a divorce from my step-brother (as I have mentione before). She is the one who decided to get married and have children, and now her selfish decisions or self-actualization or whatever you want to call it are going to be the reason my nephews can't have an intact home or family life. The issue of being gay not withstanding, her children, who really when it all comes down, did not have to be involved in this, are the ones who are going to suffer the most, not to mention my step-brother. That's what infuriates me the most.

So if you are gay, just man up or woman up and admit it. Be gay. But do it before you hurt other people. Yes, I think it's wrong to be gay, but I won't condemn you or judge. And I understand that some people's families would be hurt either way... but don't bring extra people in that don't need to be hurt. For your sake, for the sake of innocent people that didn't ask to get involved and had no choice in the matter, be gay. Do it before you have those commitments and responsibilities. Why hurt someone when it can be avoided? Please, please, for their sakes.

tendency

I have this habit, or tendency, to leave cabinets and drawers open. I don't know why... maybe I am not sure if I am going to be done with the cabinet so I leave it open just in case, or maybe I take whatever it was I needed and just use it so immediately that there is not time to close the door/drawer. I think this is a weird habit... I have nearly smacked my head on cabinets many a time...

I had another fault that I thought of but I forgot it... unless maybe leaving cabinets open all the time is a fault! haha...

So I got some news today. My sister-in-law (my step-brother's wife) decided to come out of the closet and wants to get a divorce. I'm not sure what I think of it all... I mean I know but I don't know at the same time. I have looked up to her as a role model and now this...

I can't really talk about it right now.

But also I have hung out with Bryan a few more times and I like him. I think there is potential  

The Wedding!

Ok now I think I can handle typing about Taryn and Kyle's wedding. :)

So Friday night we had the rehearsal. It went pretty well, although even then Steph and I were both starting to tear up! Afterwards, we had dinner at the Pomona Valley Mining Company - it was AMAZING! The steak was just... :-O And the chicken and potatoes and rolls did not disappoint, even after trying the steak! (I can't speak for the vegetables, but... who can, really?) It was fun because I got to play with Taryn's neices. Aliyah (the baby) and I had a lot of good bonding time... she's a cutie! And I let (little) Stephanie wear my heels because goodness knows, by the end of the night I didn't want to wear them anymore! haha. She thought that was great. And Taryn got all the bridesmaids a necklace and earrings to wear in the wedding. It was a very pretty flower-chain design (I am probably not doing it justice, but it is pretty and sparkly) :) After the dinner, I went over to the hotel with Taryn. We unloaded all of our stuff (there was a lot because we had a wedding dress, two bridesmaids dresses, two flower girl dresses, and all of her stuff for the honeymoon) and I went to go park and... I backed into a car! I just barely tapped it, and there was no damage, but I felt like a dummy. And Taryn's dad was still there, so I was like "Taryn's dad is never going to let me drive Taryn around tomorrow after this!!" So I went and parked and then Taryn and I went up to the room. We had to switch rooms, though, because the original room had two queen beds, not a king... and since they would be married, they would only need one bed!! Anyway, so we switched rooms, ran a quick errand, and came back to go to sleep!

Ok... I will have to finish detailing the weekend later... oh and maybe then I can add some pictures. My mom took some and they turned out really well (she has a great camera!! and she's learned a lot about photography from this class so... yep)

Oh I did want to say (not wedding-related) that I went out with CJ and a bunch of his friends on Friday, and one of his friends said I was "a sweetheart and a vision"! I'm a vision! hehe... and he told me his friends all thought I was cool. So that's nice :) Although I am about 85% moved on from CJ... I don't know what's up with him. And oh well. I am going on a date today so there! :) bye for now...